“Can I pet him or will he bite?” is a fun thing to ask parents that keep their kid on a leash.
Cris
Yesterday I had to screw in a light bulb. Later, I crossed a road and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.
I add "Drink Beer" to my weekend to-do list so I know I'll at least get one thing done.
Amigo
Sometimes I wake up grumpy, and other times I just let her sleep
Amigo
My wife won’t get the remote that’s in the other room, but if my wallet was at the bottom of an ocean she’d be shopping already.
Even as little kids we knew about STDs. We just called them Cooties.
Amigo
I get carried away sometimes… Usually because I refuse to leave