Funny Statuses

I found Samuel L. Jackson's swear jar and I don't think he's being completely honest with himself.
In response to the new Facebook guidelines I hereby declare that pressing alt+F4 will magically make all this go away.
Baking soda seems like a scam. "Be sure to keep this box of magic white powder in the back of your refrigerator."
I'm not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
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Cyberbilly
I drink one glass of red wine a day for my health. The rest of the bottle is because I like being drunk.
Research has shown that a poor sex life will lead to a stroke.
Dodgeball: America's twist on stoning
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