I've been sober for seventeen days. Just not all in a row.
Unraveling iPod earbuds in less than 10 minutes qualifies you to perform surgery in most 3rd world countries.
The NBA is back to play the remaining 75% of the season. Which is perfect for LeBron James because he only plays 3 quarters anyway.
I'm not talking about Facebook, I want to know how to block you in real life.
When I think about how much time I've spent on Facebook, I wonder how many miles I've scrolled on my mouse wheel.
We should be able to text 911, in case were hiding from a serial killer & don't want them to hear us.
The comment threads on YouTube are the trailer parks of the Internet.