Robert Ryder
I felt a little embarrassed last night when the woman I was dancing behind bent over so I could grind, but then I realized she had just dropped her credit card, and that nobody else in the check out line at Wal-Mart could hear my iPod but me...
Dad: Son, we have to talk. Me: What is it? Dad: You were adopted. Me: Oh my god… Really?! Dad: Yup. Get ready. They’re picking you up in about an hour.
Ever talk to someone so stupid that you can hear them misspelling words?
Novell
Why do they ask you "Please press 1 for English, then put you with someone who's accent is so thick you can't understand them?
How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?
Novell
I used to be a man trapped inside a woman's body. And things got even more complicated after I was born.
Getting another set of teeth would be much more useful at age 60 than age 6.