What do people mean "get ready for bed"? I am ALWAYS ready for bed
I had a date with my treadmill recently, we aren't working out.
A sign on the wall of the drug store said, "Ask the pharmacist if you have questions." How would the pharmacist know if I have questions?
Say what you will about Kristen Stewart's acting abilities, but I'm willing to bet she'd kick some serious ass in a poker game.
I finally gave my wife multiple orgasms, but she still isn't happy. Apparently it doesn't count if they are years apart.
Every pizza is a personal pizza if you eat the entire thing.
I put on my pants like everyone else. Right after the security guard in Target says "Sir, we're going to have to ask you to leave."