1. Vodka is made from potatoes. 2. Potatoes are vegetables. 3. Vegetables are good for you. You're welcome.
I wish my friends thought I was as awesome as my dog thinks I am.
It's all fun & games until someone slips a paintball into your bag of frozen grapes.
I wish my cat would stop thinking outside the box
I’m really bad at measuring the correct amount of pasta, so if you and 79 of your friends want spaghetti tonight, come on over
When I see a reality show, I can't decide which sucks more. Reality or the show.
Do you think woodpeckers get headaches?