Funny Statuses

#11004
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Novell
There’s a thin line between “I should post that to Facebook” and “I should talk to a therapist about that.
Why do they call it "hiring a hitman" and not "ordering takeout"
If I'm ever on life support, unplug me. Then plug me back in and see if that works.
My daughter wanted a Cinderella themed birthday party. So I invited over all her friends and had them clean my house.
I wonder if there is such a thing as positive version of Tourette's syndrome. You know, instead of yelling curse words they scream things like "Have a nice day!" or "I love that outfit!"
My wife and I found each other on a dating website, 3 years after we got married... That was awkward.
Comcast is doing home security now so if your house is being robbed they will get the police there on Tuesday between the hours of 8 & 12.
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