Amigo
The cashier told me “Strip down, facing me.” How was I to know she meant my debit card?
Amigo
The sign said “WET PAINT” so I emptied my Dasani water bottle on it. I’m currently waiting on further instructions.
If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.
Three words to ruin a man's ego: "Is it in?" Three words to ruin a woman's ego: "I don't know."
Novell
I don’t understand why Walmart has a problem with me bringing my dog in the store. He’s better behaved, smells better, and less likely to take a crap on the floor than 95% of the people here.
Novell
My brain has too many tabs open
Cyberbilly
I woke up screaming this morning. Then I had to apologize to everyone in the staff meeting.