Funny Statuses

I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket"
Every time a sexy woman jumps out of a giant cake there is at least one guy who is bummed about the cake being ruined.
A cat falls into a puddle of water. A chicken starts laughing hysterically. The moral of the story is "A Wet Pussy Makes A Cock Very Happy".
If you play a Ke$ha song backwards, you hear messages from Satan. Even worse, if you play it forwards you hear Ke$ha.
If you were home alone in the middle of the night, and you heard a fart, would you laugh or be scared?
I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
I love facebook. It's the only place I can talk to a wall and not look like an idiot.
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Looking for more laughs? Check out Jokes for Dad!

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