I'd better check my phone for texts from friends. *checks phone* Well, I'd better get some friends...
I keep forgetting how bad my memory has become..
Imagine how fun Pringles would be if the cans were spring-loaded.
I was fired from my job at the sperm bank for saying "get a load of this guy" every time someone walked in
Robert Zunick
Sometimes I have to tell myself, "It's not worth the jail time!"
Checking your phone when someone pulls out their phone is the yawn of our generation.
Turns out, I'm not an afternoon person either...