Funny Statuses

According to science the atoms in my body contain the energy of 30 hydrogen bombs, and yet, not enough energy to get up early and go jogging.
I'm not sure what shocked my mailman more, the fact that I came to the door completely naked, or the fact that I knew where he lived.
#17226
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Florida
I just found out cockfighting is done with roosters. That's 12 months of training wasted.
I've decided to kill off a few characters in the book I'm writing. I really think it will spice up my autobiography.
#17554
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Florida
Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today, and nextday.
#17559
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Xyuppi
Marijuana is legal but haircuts are not! It took almost 50 years but the hippies finally won.
#17846
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Xyuppi
The ICU is where you take someone that has been injured playing PeekaBoo
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