The Fourth of July is an annual reminder of how useless my dog would be in a war.
Why the hell are nipples so important? You could have all the boob you want hanging out, but if the nipple comes out all hell breaks loose
Amigo
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it.
If I were a cannibal, I'd work at a tanning salon. That way my dinners would cook themselves.
I'm starting to think that adult supervision is a myth. In fact, my eyes seem to be getting worse.
Guess who paid a bill on time today? ME! The other thirty bills can go screw themselves.
Instead of having a child, I intend to spend my life acting like one.