Why rappers haven't done a song over the beat a car alarm plays is beyond me.
Why do women always say they want a man with a stable job? What’s so glamorous about cleaning up after horses?
My family's Coat of Arms ties at the back.
The biggest mistake a married man can make, is correctly loading the dishwasher.
What the heck are we doing?! We're adults. We have the ability to eat pizza for EVERY MEAL!
Thinking about moving to London so my other arm will get a tan too.
I need to do laundry so bad I'm actually wearing the Christmas stockings.