Xyuppi
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't flick your friends out the car window
Florida
If you feel lonely... dim all lights & put on a horror-movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore
Xyuppi
So you have 820 friends on Facebook and yet no one was around to take your picture when you decided to use the mirror for a good shot?
If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd probably come in fourth so I wouldn't need to walk up to the podium.
Florida
I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe
Kristian Alekov
Sometimes I think I'm reasonably intelligent, and sometimes I click the remote car door lock a second or third time for extra lockiness
God has the opportunity tomorrow to play the greatest practical joke of all time if she takes everyone but leaves Kirk Cameron. #rapture