I hate when the person I Facebook-stalk never updates anything
DaddyButter
If each day is a gift, I would like to know where I can return Mondays.
Cyberbilly
There's a reason it's called "Girls Gone Wild" and not "Women Gone Wild". When girls go wild, they show their boobs because they want money. When women go wild, they kill men for insurance policies.
According to Pinterest, I'm severely under-utilizing mason jars.
Exciting news: Duchess Kate has gone into labor; this marks the first time anyone in the Royal family has been connected to the word labor.
You never truly feel the need for the T and G keys to be further apart until you accidentally reply to an email by saying, "Best Retards."
There are no bad pictures. That's just how your face looks sometimes.