You know you're lazy when you get excited about canceled plans.
It’s amazing how long you can hold your farts at the beginning of a relationship.
Amigo
Being a man means doing what I want, when I want, and not having to answer to anyone. This is my…crap she’s coming. To be continued.
Robert Zunick
Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.
I want to delete a bunch statuses, so if you guys could just message me your passwords that'd be great.
Novell
Before criticizing my taste, remember that I like you.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?