There should be an observation deck at Walmart.
My most frequent walk of shame is from one bathroom to the other with the plunger
I donate blood 5 times a year just so I'm less and less related to some of my relatives.
Jail is just the government's way of sending you to your room.
If you're gonna label the silica gel "do not eat", maybe you should label everything in the box. I almost ate a shoe before someone stopped me
I asked my wife what women really want and she said attentive lovers. Or maybe it was "a tent of lovers." I wasn't really sure, but was too worried to ask.
Based on how I startle when toast pops up, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.