I used to be a hipster back before anybody else knew about them.
I think Lebron should get married. That's the only way he is going to get a ring.
My Pizza Lunchables won’t fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My alarm clock is clearly jealous of the relationship I have with my bed....
Lincoln is doing well in theaters. Historically this has not been true.
Dave Asten
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
I'm writing this from the hospital. Don't worry! The doctors say I'm going to be ok, but I must warn you. They Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!