Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you're stupid and make bad decisions.
I just hit a pothole so hard Siri developed a stutter.
Well, I've officially entered the, "Why did I come into this room?" phase of my life.
If you're ever sad, just imagine how much worse it would be to be a tree that spent years and years growing up, only to end up as a Justin Bieber notebook.
If people in horror movies listened to me, they'd still be alive.
Somebody just gave me a free air guitar..... No strings attached
Clearly the people that design refrigerators don't know me if they think one tiny cheese drawer and two giant vegetable drawers is the way to go.