Amigo
If Facebook isn’t a drug then someone please explain to me why I sneak into the bathroom at work to use it.
Cyberbilly
And all this time I thought Ariana Grande was a drink at Starbucks.
Never, ever ask a woman if she’s pregnant unless you see an actual baby being born. Even then, act surprised.
My wife told me to take a spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. He seems like a nice guy. Loves his kids.
It's okay, Web MD. I don't really know what's wrong with me either.
My doctor just told me I was suffering from paranoia, well he didn't actually say that, but I could tell it was what the bastard was thinking.
Florida
So, does screaming at my son in Chuck E. Cheese because he won't share his game tokens with me make me an evil person? Hahaaa! Just kidding! I have no clue whose kid this is...