Ugh, I forgot to go to the gym today. That's 9 years in a row now...
Amigo
I have an inferiority complex about my superiority complex. I know I'm better than you, but I feel really horrible about myself for letting you know...
For a $19 donation to the SPCA you can help a dog or cat that has been abused. They'd make a lot more money if they charged $75 to get a video of someone kicking the abuser's ass. I'd pay for that.
Jack & Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. However, if you sponsor Jack & Jill for just $2 a month we will dig a well in their village.
Amigo
If I've learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.
When girls wear yoga pants I feel like the ghosts from Mario. Uncontrollably attracted when they turn away, but frozen when they look at me.
Cris
I once dated a girl with a parrot. That thing was crazy and never shut up! The parrot was cool though.