I left my cell phone at home. I feel so helpless. I've totally forgotten how we used to ignore people before these things.
I already know what my dying wish will be. It will be to stop dying.
I feel lazier than the guy who designed the Japanese flag
My doctor checked my fitness level and said I was getting atrophy. Where should I put it? I never got a fitness award before!
Cyberbilly
It's days like today that remind me why they denied me that concealed carry permit.
Got hammered last night but still had the good sense to take a cab home. The problem now is how am I going to return it without getting into trouble...
Cyberbilly
It's funny how things change when you get older. It seems like just yesterday I would spend my evenings on the front porch and treat myself to some killer weed. Now I spend my evenings in the front yard treating it with weed killer.