Funny Statuses

I'll never understand women. They hate when you ask their age, but get mad if you forget their birthday.
Working in retail has taught me that the customer is always right. At least while they're in earshot...
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TexasPK
My brother took going to jail really badly. He refused food, drinks. He spat and swore at anyone who came near him and started throwing things everywhere. After that we NEVER played monopoly again.
Hugh Hefner dead at age 91. With the amount of Viagra that guy must have been taking, good luck closing THAT casket lid.
Every year, the day before my wedding anniversary, I celebrate the anniversary of when I was last right about anything.
Let's be honest, Dos Equis. After a bunch of ANY beer, what guy doesn't think he's the most interesting man in the world?
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is the most whimsical film about the systematic murder of children that I have ever seen.
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