Funny Statuses

They seriously need an express lane at the Bank for those of us who have less than $100 dollars in our checking account.
If zombies ever attack, go to Sam's Club. They have walls and years of food and supplies. Also, zombies can't get in without a membership.
#11109
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Robert Ryder
Studies show that 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happy.
What’s my type? Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I’m describing my bed again.
I wonder how long it will take this police sketch artist to realize I'm describing him.
You know you're broke when your bank flags deposits as suspicious activity.
My weight loss goal is to not care about the crumbs at the bottom of a Pringles can.
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