I can't go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes.
The last breasts I touched belonged to a dead chicken.
Currently 22 minutes and 34 seconds into a phone call with my mom....she hasn't stopped for air once
Amigo
“Screw it” – My final thought before making most decisions.
I'm gonna start a secret porn industry and call it "the Illuminaughty".
They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.
Don't try to understand women. Women understand women and they hate each other.