I have a feeling my big break is gonna involve a bone.
The last time there were sparks in my bedroom the wife was watching The Food Network and drooled on the electric blanket.
Easy on the makeup ladies. I don't mind giving you a hug, but I do mind looking like I just cleaned a pottery wheel with only my chest.
My boyfriend got really excited when I brought handcuffs into the bedroom but after 3 weeks shackled to the bedpost the novelty has faded.
I wish smelly people in real life had a dust cloud around them like Pigpen from "Peanuts".
We'll be attending the National Schizophrenic's Convention. Anybody who's everybody will be there.
I consider the word Dodge on the front of my truck fair warning to jaywalkers.