Parents, give your child a normal name. No one wants to hire someone with a name that sounds like a Harry Potter spell.
My kid asked me today when her boobs would come in. I told her with her genes it'll be when she has $5000.
If strippers are now called exotic dancers then drug dealers should be called exotic pharmacists.
my new boyfriend calls me a stalker. Well he's not actually my boyfriend.... YET
Seems like every time a tornado lands it hits a trailer park and the media interviews some toothless, fat guy in a t-shirt and cutoffs holding a Chihuahua. My idea: Build decoy trailer parks just outside of town, complete with fake people, so the tornado hits it before it does any real harm. You're welcome Oklahoma.
overing someone's eyes and saying "Guess who?" is a really fun way to make friends... Especially at urinals
Michael Mendoza
If a person is born deaf, what language do they think in?