If you're having trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.
Ugh the wifi is so slow today! It's so frustrating! My neighbor should really do something about this!
I purposely cry while cutting carrots so onions don't think they're ugly or something.
Rec Rellim
If Eve cursed an entire human race for an apple, I can only imagine what she'd do for a Klondike bar.
Bored? Test drive a Volkswagen Beetle for an afternoon, when schools are let out, and watch a bunch of kids punch each other.
"Kiss me," she said, "kiss me like you've never kissed me before." So I stuck my tongue in her nostril.
If a telemarketer calls, give the phone to your 3 year-old and tell them it's Santa.