I lose all respect for myself when I bite my own tongue. I've been chewing for decades, how did I manage to screw that one up?
If running away from my problems counts as exercise then yes, I work out a lot.
I have to take my paycheck to the bank. It’s way too little to go by itself.
If you have time to update your facebook status every ten minutes, I'm assuming your life really isn't as interesting as you make it out to be
There are 10 different types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those that don't.
I enjoy watching wrestling a lot more if I think of it as competitive hugging.
Of all the things I have lost in life I miss my mind the most