I wouldn't mind all the penis enlargement emails if they weren't coming from my wife.
How to fall down stairs: Step 1 Step 6 Step 7,8,9,11
Amigo
Someone stole my wife's credit card but I didn't report it because he's spending less a month than she did.
If history repeats itself then I am SO getting a dinosaur.
Amigo
Apparently a good way to get asked to leave the gym is to move a treadmill behind someone on a stationary bike and pretend you’re angrily chasing them.
Amigo
Sometimes as I’m getting off a crowded elevator I like to turn & look at someone who’s staying on and say “you’re in charge while I’m gone.”
You know your day is complete when someone in a vehicle with a "COEXIST" bumper sticker flips you off.