When I get bored I go to a car dealership and ask the salesman to lay in the trunk so I can "see how many I'll be able to fit"
Cris
Does everyone have that one dumb ass that finds you on Facebook and will not give up? Repeated friend requests, inbox messages, and follows my pages. It is driving me nuts. I understand at some point I will have to give in, but just because I'm married to him it doesn't mean I have to like him, right?
Cyberbilly
If God gave you a good singing voice you should sing loud in church to give thanks. If God gave you a bad singing voice you should sing loud in church to get even.
I named my dog "5 miles". That way I can tell people "I walk 5 miles everyday!"
Insomnia improves your math skills. You spend all night calculating how much sleep you'll get if you "fall asleep right now".
I'm trying to give up sexual innuendos, but it's so hard...
I don't live paycheck to paycheck. I live paycheck to four days before paycheck...