Note to self: A cops' favorite two words are; "Make Me." avoid these next time.
If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable.
Michael Mendoza
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?
If women with big boobs work at Hooter's. Where do women with one leg work? I Hop
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
Cyberbilly
"Don't worry! I won't kill you!" is not a good pickup line when you meet a woman while jogging.
Police in Florida arrested a man who stole a truck carrying $75,000 worth of Campbell’s Soup. Now he’s going away for mmm, mmm, good.