When I delete an app on my iPhone, the shaking icons make me feel like they’re panicked over who’s getting cut from the team.
I think it's only fair to throw monopoly money at strippers with fake boobs.
I've had so much coffee, I got halfway to work and realized I forgot my car.
My co-worker asked me what is the name of the show where they go fishing and catch all the crabs. I told her it was "Jersey Shore".
I'm going to spend this valentines day with my ex... BOX360
My wife has given up sex for Lent. Now I know the true meaning of Palm Sunday...
Pandas are Black, White AND Asian.