Funny Statuses

#2651
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Cyberbilly
I like to read magazines about parenting. That way, I can learn all the things my parents did wrong when they raised me, and I can go back to them and say "See? This is the reason I am like I am."
My life is just a bunch of "it seemed like a good idea at the time"s strung together.
#3033
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Cyberbilly
The aftermath of Hurricane Sandy tells me that we are better prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse than a power outage.
If I could only use one word to describe myself, it would probably be: "not good at following directions".
#12348
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Novell
Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I’m the proud owner of aisle 7.
#13508
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Cyberbilly
Buying my wife a matching belt and bag for her birthday. We'll have that vacuum cleaner working in no time.
Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life?
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