Yawning is your body's way of saying 20% of battery remaining.
They say there are plenty more fish in the sea... but until I catch one, I'm just stuck here holding my rod.
They called it "Facebook" because "I Wonder What My Ex Is Up To?" seemed a little too creepy.
If you quit Facebook, don't be pissed when I forget your birthday.
You're the one who posted over a thousand pictures of yourself on Facebook. Why does looking at them make me the weird one?
Took a friend's advice to help me sleep better & tried bringing a book to bed but it's so hard coloring in the lines while I'm lying down.
If you needed a documentary to tell you that eating McDonald's for every meal for a month will make you ill, you're screwed regardless.