As a non-smoker, "Thank You for Not Smoking" signs make me want to be thanked for other stuff I'm not doing.
Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood.
Bad: Waking up and finding a penis drawn on your face. Worse: It was traced.
I don't care who let the cat out of the bag. I'd like to know who got a cat INTO a bag, ever.
"You're one in a million" means that there are over 6,000 people just like you.
A recent government survey reports that people are more cynical these days than any time in history. Like I'm really supposed to believe that…
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?