Funny Statuses

Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
#2881
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Cyberbilly
You know you've won the argument when the other person responds with "Whatever..."
#3529
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Cyberbilly
This homeless guy asked me for money the other day and I was about to give it to him then I thought; he's just going to spend it on alcohol and drugs. Why should I give it to him? Then I realized that's what I'm gonna use it for. Who am I to judge this poor bastard?
Dr. Seuss could have been the greatest rapper ever.
If you think you are unattractive just remember you look like your ancestors and hey all of them got laid
I'm going to change my name to benefits. That way when you add me, it will say "you are now friends with benefits"
I fall sleep easier naked. Why can’t the flight attendants understand this?
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