I feel like prostitutes are the only people who should use the phrase "bang for your buck"
Women may be the only thing that are easier to pick up as they get heavier.
I would never go bungee jumping. A broken rubber brought me into this world, and it's not going to take me out.
The Little Mermaid was basically a hoarder.
I wonder if I´ll ever be mature enough to use a stud finder without pointing it at myself and saying "there's one."
Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
Cyberbilly
"The problem with a politician’s quote on Facebook is you don’t know whether or not they really said it." –Abraham Lincoln