Leron Tonge
If your significant other claims they never looks at your Facebook profile, change your status to ‘Single’ and wait for 5 minutes.
Why do dogs always think the knock at the door is for them?
Lebron James dislocated his ring finger. It's not like he was using it anyways...
Dave Asten
I would switch cell-phone providers if one had an "unsend my drunk text" option.
There are two rules for success.... 1) Never reveal everything you know. 2)
Terry Burcham
"Everyday I'm Shuffling" - Casino Dealer
I bet if zebras actually tasted like zebra cakes there wouldn't be any vegetarians.