I hate waiting in lines. Just hurry up and pick a suspect already...
Back before Walmart, you used to have to buy a ticket to the fair to see a bearded woman.
Unlike the Super Bowl, my blackouts are brought to you by Captain Morgan.
Cyberbilly
My grandmother is 94 years old and still doesn't need glasses. Nope. Drinks right out of the bottle.
I can't unfriend you because I really enjoy watching the disaster that is your life.
I wish conversations were like user agreements where I could skip to the end and just agree.
Women's magazines are so funny. 1: You're beautiful and perfect just the way you are! 2: How to lose 20 pounds in 10 days.