If people were meant to pop out of bed first thing in the morning, we'd all sleep in toasters.
Cyberbilly
When a woman says "We need to talk" what she really means is "You need to listen."
I saw a poor old lady fall down on the sidewalk this morning. At least I think she was poor. She only had $1.20 in her purse.
Poor: (adj.) When you have too much month at the end of your money.
Cyberbilly
Why do single women take dating advice from other single women? That's like Stevie Wonder giving driving directions to Ray Charles.
I'll never understand why cartoon pictures of the sun always depict it wearing sunglasses. What exactly would it be protecting its eyes from?
Scent is the sense most tied to memory. "Common" is the sense least tied to people.