I had a Chris Brown joke saved up but it looks like somebody already beat me to the punch.
I am deleting my twitter right now! Not to seem paranoid but I think people are following me!
Do birds get mad when other birds take a crap in the bird bath? "Dude what are you doing! That is NOT okay! There's a car RIGHT THERE!"
If thought bubbles appeared above my head, I'd be screwed.
My job in hell will be to provide 24/7 tech support to my elderly parents over the phone.
I can picture in my mind a world without war, without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.
Did you know that if you hold your ear close to a random person's thigh, you can hear them say, "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?!"