If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, a hipster will buy the soundtrack.
The fact that people use the wrong "your" and "there" yet spell "Bieber" correctly bothers me.
When I die, I want someone to keep updating my Facebook status to freak people out.
Dear math, I don't want to solve your problems. I have my own to solve.
Turn off the lights when you leave a room. How would you like it if someone turned you on and then just left?
After reading this sentence you will realize that the the brain doesn't recongnize a second "the"
Today's a great day to stalk someone you haven't seen since high school and say, "You wrote 'keep in touch' in my yearbook. Let's do this!"