Funny Statuses

#3521
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Cyberbilly
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, nobody else wanted them either.
I don't need pepper spray to stop a robber, I just open my wallet and blow the dust in their eyes.
#3972
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Michael Mendoza
A lot of kids were upset when they found out Santa was not real, I was more creeped out the fact my parents made me take a picture sitting on a strangers lap and kept it for years.
When I'm on my death bed, I want my final words to be "I left one million dollars in the..."
Maybe if they turned the economy off and then turned it back on it might run better. Works for my computer...
Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth.
"It's been a business doing pleasure with you." - a prostitute
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