Xyuppi
What did I do on the toilet before smart phones were invented?
You have my attention but it's already planning an escape.
Xyuppi
The British Olympic team is going to dominate in Quidditch.
I’m planning to adopt a dog soon, it wasn’t my first choice but my doctor told me I can’t have any biologically.
Xyuppi
Random Fact of the Day: Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
I wish all my freckles would just mix into a tan.
My wife just left me alone with two kids which makes her a terrible parent.