Fish out of water is a strange phrase because it's almost never used to describe someone dying.
If we elect Donald Trump president, there will be hell toupee.
Why does tasty mean that a thing tastes good and smelly mean that a thing smells bad?
I like how automatic doors just get out of my way. I wish more inanimate objects seemed scared of me.
Making fun of a fat person at the gym is like making fun of a homeless person at a job fair.
Novell
The mechanic asked if I wanted my tires rotated and I was like, "No thanks, I'm pretty sure they do that all by themselves while I'm driving"
Xyuppi
You know it's already September because people keep posting "Wake me up when September ends"