Funny Statuses

I lost my dog yesterday, i want to put up some ads and flyers but he cant even read!

Why does tasty mean that a thing tastes good and smelly mean that a thing smells bad?

Nothing good has ever come from answering a call from a blocked phone number.

I broke a mirror now I'm looking at 7 years bad luck... but my lawyer thinks he can get me off with 3

What would I give the woman who has everything? Well, my phone number for a start.

I was in the gifted program in school too! Though my school called it "Secret Santa".

I’m a really down to earth guy because, you know, gravity.