Was eating jerky today and there was a little silica packet with a warning that said "Do not eat." Good thinking. Too bad there wasn't a warning on the plastic packaging too It took me two days to get that stuff out of my teeth.
If it's true that God closes a door then opens a window, he probably just dropped a bomb in the bathroom.
Amigo
We only use leashes because dogs can’t hold hands
You look like you only got about 5 of your 8 hours of beauty sleep last night...
In the South, they remove the 'g' from the end of most words. Just sayin'.
I'm thinking about moving to Alabama just so I don’t have to keep scrolling through all those other states when I sign up for websites.
When my cat recoils from my kisses is when I know she takes after my wife.