Funny Statuses

My left arm must be exhausted, I woke up before it did.
I hate when women say their body is "shaped like a Coke bottle" and fail to mention that bottle is a 3 liter.
Don't have phone sex, you might get hearing aids!
What is the difference between E.T. and a NFL replacement ref? E.T. can make a call.
I would call my coworkers complete idiots, but that would mean that they have actually completed something.
#3105
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Dave Asten
I'm going to switch my car insurance from Geico to Allstate, then to Statefarm, then back to Geico. If my calculations are correct, they should owe me $837.
How many boxes of these Thin Mints do I need to eat before I start seeing results?
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