Funny Statuses

I don't care about your choice in politics, religion, or taste in music... I judge you simply based on football team preference.
US declares war on some other country, Americans urged to keep shopping and not worry about it.
A teenager without earbuds is the modern day unicorn.
So, Dr. Oz recommended Coconut milk a few days ago. I have the coconut suspended over a small bowl. Can anyone tell me where the heck the teats are?
Don't hit people with glasses. Use your fists.
Hipsters love Raiders of the Lost Ark because it's the first Indie film.
Anger is just passion having a bad hair day.
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